Grapefruit

Below are some excerpts from a conversation I had with a friend, earlier. I changed her name to respect anonymity and left the spelling and grammar errors in. This was a typical conversation.

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Paul: I think i want my dead body ground into fertilizer and used to add nitrates to the soil of grapefruit trees
Dee: really?
Paul: yeah, I really like grapefruit
Dee: im torn between being cremated and being thrown into the ocean
Paul: otherwise, it would really be a waste of the phosphorus and nitrogen
Dee: after they get my organs that is
Paul: nobody's getting my organs
Dee: please let me know exactly where that will be so i never eat those grapefruits
Paul: those are for the grapefuit trees
Dee: what about people?
Paul: screw people
Dee: who need them?
Paul: people don't make very good breakfast when you cut them in half


Paul: I don't plan on dying until I'm at least 50
Paul: and I'm going to try to travel as much as I can before that
Dee: lol i plan on a good 70
Paul: I try to plan for an early death. That way, I'm not dissappointed.
Dee: i think 70 is good pretty early.....hell people are living to older and older these days
Paul: yeah, some people are
Paul: but other people get hit by a bus
Paul: If I'm one of the people who gets hit by a bus, I want to be able to think "That was a pretty good run."
Paul: you know, right before my brain explodes from the impact


Paul: but anyway, grapefruit. I really like grapefruit
Dee: lol
Dee: watermelon is better
Paul: please don't make this about race
Paul: ... lol, sorry... it was too easy...
Dee: LOL
Dee: i would do the whole black thing but we both now you are more black then i am
Paul: well, certainly according to my application to Notre Dame
Paul: according to that, i'm a lot more Jewish than you are too
Dee: lol....race or religion
Paul: On my application to Notre Dame, I put down that I was a black jew
Paul: because of the way they worded the question
Dee: how did they word the question
Paul: "What race do you most closely identify with?"
Dee: oh lol
Dee: you know what they ment
Paul: I mean, I love fried chicken, watermellon and rap music
Paul: I really couldn't honestly put down anything else
Paul: then they asked "What religion best describes you?"
Dee: lol i have nothing to say i can't stop laughing long enough to speak
Dee: i mean think
Paul: I thought about it for a while and I realized that Jews would probably best describe me
Paul: they're good at describing things
Dee: meaning what you belive...unless you belive your people where lost in the desert for 40 years after someone talked to a burning bush.....you aren't jewish
Paul: I think my people were lost in a desert, as were everyone's people. We are all everyone's people.